DARE TO LOVE YOURSELF

 I think it's completely  normal to struggle with low self esteem and the act of not loving yourself at one point in life . There are so many surrounding factors and aspects that can make us completely doubt our own self worth and there’s no concrete answer as to how precisely to love yourself , but these small changes helped me love myself more:

1. Accepting myself as I am. Self love starts with self acceptance. You’re not perfect, no one is. However, you can’t spend your whole life beating yourself up. Your self worth isn’t determined by all the mistakes you make. It’s how you move forward from those mistakes and what you do after you learn from them.

2. Putting God first. Believe it or not, things can become idols in our lives if we place them above God, such as relationships, family, friends, school, careers, or hobbies. 

3. Letting go of the past. In order to truly love yourself, you’re going to have to let go of the past. I learned that It’s not healthy living in the past since no matter how much you dwell on it or think about it, nothing’s going to change. 

 And laslty, doing what truly makes me happy  

Whatever makes you happy, do that! becuase doing the things you love will make you generally a happier and more positive version of yourself. Dont worry about what others think, or say about you because at the end of the day it's your life and…who are they to judge?

FINDING MY IDENTITY

Who am I? I constantly had to ask myself this question growing up. Ever since I was a little girl I've always struggled with my identity. From my mom leaving me with my grandmother when I was nine months, growing up with my grandmother thinking she was my mother, then being adopted. I feel like I grew up not knowing who I truly was and from this I have struggled in many aspects of my life, from relationships, communicating properly, and even career wise.For years I felt like I did not fit into any of the boxes that came with being a “normal” person. I didn't know how to feel, who I was or what made me unique.  I felt confused, defeated and blind to my own worth and identity. 

How do I identify who I am? Find your purpose in life. Believe it or not, we all have a purpose in life. It’s our reason for being here, and we all have the power to choose what it is. You might not be aware of it but you already have a purpose. It’s just that you’ve never stopped to think about it before.

In my case my path to finding my identity wasn't easy. There were many steps I had to take along the way. I also feel like we live in a world where we are constantly bordered with messages telling us who we should be, what to wear , what we should look like and this makes things even harder.

For me It wasn't until I gave my life to God, that I found who I truly was. I can actually say that I'm identified and unconditionally loved by my Divine creator and losing my Identity helped me find my truth, in Christ.

Your identity is in God. It's very tempting to build your identity on the things of this world or on what you accomplished in life, but to be honest this is not a stable foundation, because your true identity is in God's unconditional love.

I have my first book released April 7, 2023, called “Identified” is a 31 Day affirmations book that will help you shift your thoughts and beliefs to align with God’s truth.

You can purchase it now at: https://books2read.com/Identifiedbyclaritza

You dont grow when your comfortable

 I was scrolling through my Instagram today and this quote caught my eye " You don't grow when you're comfortable'' As a Banking Specialist for more than 7 years and graduating college last year I couldnt agree more. I mean, I love my job, but I also wanted to start something different. Something that I would love doing and inspire who I truly was. 

 I was in Puerto Rico visiting my grandmother around January and every night I was having these visions of myself writing and communicating with others but I didn't understand. Until now, as I'm promoting my book and my shop. 

When I came back to New Jersey I gave myself a chance and started creating designs for fun on my computer. I already had 3 books in mind (Identified was the first book I have written) and I remember like it was yesterday, I started designing images of shirts that people would identify with. Simple, Clean, & Faith Based and posting them to the site I’m linked with to make the design and ship them. I was getting orders, $20 here , $10 there. Eventually I decided to open social media again and started promoting more and my small business is starting to grown more and more each day for the glory of God.

You have to be willing to plant the seeds if you want the garden to grow. I remember when I told my friend I was writing a book and she laughed. She replied with exactly this " HAHA, CLARI YOUR SO SILLY" ( I still have this text as a motivation on my laptop.) 

Don't worry about those who laugh at you, or don't support you. Just follow "YOUR DREAMS" nothing else matters. Will my business be successful? I pray to my Divine creator everyday that it grows, and even pray that I open up my own local faith based store which is my ultimate goal, but only he knows. 

Either way if you don't take the risks you don't know what can happen.

" NO RAIN, NO FLOWERS "

There was a time in my life, where I was completely lost, depressed and had no inspiration to do absolutely nothing. I used to cry myself to sleep and ask God, why did he create me if he knew I was going to be so miserable.

It was after my accident that I realized how grateful I am to be alive and that every day here on this earth is a blessing. 

At times we might feel broken, lost, or exactly how I felt depressed but these things are sometimes

necessary to make you stronger.

Remember these things when you're going through hard times;

God is bigger than your problems

Pray. Never underestimate the power of prayers. Prayers have helped me in so many situations where I felt

hopeless and felt like I needed a miracle.

You overcame tough times before, you will certainly overcome them again

The situation you're going through might not be the same as the one you've dealt with in the past but

Just remember that you are strong and capable of facing difficulties, and just like you risen above

before, you will win again.

It won't be like this forever

No matter how bad the situation is right now, know that it won't be like this forever, so have hope

that one day it will change for the best. During the darker times we need to keep the faith

that there's light at the end of the tunnel.

These four words now have so much meaning to me...lots of people don't like the rain,

but they love the flowers, but without the rain there are no flowers.

Goals I want to accomplish before thirty

 I think everyone should have a goal they want to accomplish or a list of fun things they want to do by a certain age. I remember when I was in my teens I always said I wanted to buy a house in my twenties and drive my dream car, a Mercedes Benz and both of my dreams came true.

I am currently twenty-nine and I set some goals to accomplish before I hit thirty (literally in nine months I'll be 30 years old) . I'm a little nervous but I'm excited to enter a new decade.

Here are some goals I want  to accomplish before the big 3-0:

Become an Author and release my first book - Ever since I was a little girl I always wanted to write my own book but I never knew where to start. While I was off social media, I got very creative and I wrote some books that are soon going to be released. So far I have five books written. Identified, Identified kids, Being Claritza, Tears in my eyes and Enough. I feel that writing is a form of communication since I struggle communicating with others.

Get interviewed at a podcast - I think this will be an Ice breaker, as I mentioned above, I struggle communicating with others. I think this will be an awesome way to break the ice and face my fear.

Finish up my self development course- I started a self development class in November of 2022 and I still have not  finished it. I definitely want to finish it up before November when I turn thirty.

Volunteer in a mental health recovery event and give my testimony - There's so many people going through the same thing I went through with mental health and depression, and I feel like I have a testimony to tell others how serious depression is.

Have another baby- I always wanted to give Liam a little sister, and I always said I wanted another baby before I was thirty years old. Well this is my last year of trying, because I definitely don't want more kids after.

Find a mentor- So I have lots of big plans in mind but without a good adviser, a person that I can trust to guide me and represent me I can only do so much. I’m definitely looking for a mentor that provides guidance, advice, feedback and just supports me in general and with the tools I need to succeed.

Travel to Italy - Italy has been on my bucket list for years, everyone that knows me knows I love Italian everything lol, Italian food, people, culture, just everything and i'm so excited to finally go this year for my Birthday.

My morning routine

 So my morning routine is a little different since I work overnight, I start work at 10pm and finish at 6:30, but no matter how difficult my schedule is after i'm done work I always have a morning routine, I know a lot of people are not earlybirds, but your morning don't have to be rough, I’d always said that if you start your morning right you’ll have a great day. 

Here’s my morning routine;

First thing first. Pray. The best way to start your day is by praying, giving thanks to God for a new day, our family, health and to guide us and protect us from any evil. Prayer helps you develop a relationship with God just like your parents here on earth, your Heavenly Father wants to hear from you and talk to you.The power of prayers is so strong, that if you do it consistently it releases the power of God's blessing on your life and circumstances.

After I'm done praying I like to make a cup of tea, my favorite tea is ginger and honey. I buy the instant ones from amazon and then I try to journal.Journaling is a wide-ranging writing activity where I record and track my goals and events in a daily journal. I usually give thanks first or I start by saying “I’m so happy and grateful that …”

As I journal I like listening to good Christian music. I usually tell my Alexa to put Christian music, my favorite song is “The blessing” with Kari Jobe and Cody 

Then finally, just like that it's time to take my son to school at 8:00am. I usually try to go to the gym after I take my son to school. Working out for at least 30 mins 3 times a week has helped me so much especially in the morning, that early morning sense of accomplishment can also help you have a healthier day.

 

I try to make my morning routines simple and easy because when you try to add too much you get overwhelmed. Start by making a habit of praying for at least 5 minutes or reading or even journaling. You'll feel so much better adding these small routines to your schedule.

Your mental health matters

 It's been a long 2 years since I had my biggest anxiety breakdown and had to leave social media completely and all I can say is that I missed you guys and I'm happy to be back. A lot of things have happened in these last two years which I will share with you guys later, but one thing I can say is that it felt wonderful to just forget about the world and just focus on myself. Well at least I tried my hardest to do so. I cannot emphasize enough that mental health matters and if you need a break from social media, take it, take as many breaks as you need. 

Instagram makes everyone look so perfect and happy, but you never know what's really happening behind it. I was an emotional disaster and no one knew. I remember I used to post my life away, traveling to so many places, hanging out with my friends, eating at fancy restaurants, posting sexy pictures in the mirrors so I can get more “likes"...I don't even want to remember!

Once social media was out of my life, my reality hit. I realize how much I was wasting my life doing things that didn't bring me any value. So I start school again , I can tell you that's one positive thing that has happened in the last 2 years. I got my Associates Degree at University of Phoenix.

Fast Forward two years, to be honest I never had intentions of returning back, but I’m happy I did. I can say that my life has changed for the better. I came back to social media to inspire others and grow in every way possible. No more getting drunk Claritza, partying every week, and just trying to hide my Identity in things that don't matter. My Identity is now in Christ and I'm so happy and grateful.

The power of gratitude

Depression is a personal experience that I have struggled with ever since I was a little girl. Yesterday was another depressive day for me. For weeks I've been feeling fatigued, I've been sleeping a lot and had no interest in doing any type of activities. No gym, no reading I even forgot to water my plants of how low my mood was and depressed I was feeling.

I started crying feeling hopeless in my room, and the sad part is that my son was at the door listening to me crying and I didn't even know. He walked in the room and hugged and told me ' mommy everything is going to be okay, I promise". My son is honestly my best friend, I don't know where I would be without him. 

It's so important when you're feeling depressed to reflect on the things that are important, and give thanks. Even when times are tough there is so much to be grateful for. When my son hugged me, I felt so loved and grateful for him. I asked myself why I was so depressed if I have so much to be grateful for. I have my jobs, I have my house, I'm alive and most importantly I have my son who is healthy and is my world.

Today instead of waking up crying, I actually decided to write in my journal five things I was grateful for. Here's what I wrote:

I'm happy and grateful for today, because I am blessed to be alive, take my son to school and have a great productive day.

I am immensely grateful for my son, because he is healthy, smart, handsome and loves me unconditionally.

Im blessed to wake up and call my grandmother and tell her how much I love her

I am happy and grateful to God, that today and always  take care of my necessary needs. I have food in my refrigerator , a roof over my head, and health.

Today, I consider myself blessed that I have friends and family that I can call when I feel weak. Many people don't have that kind of support and I'm grateful for that.

Immediately after writing this I was feeling so much better and thankful for everything. Gratitude is powerful, never underestimate the power of giving thanks!